Competence Confidence Conundrum

Competence Confidence Conundrum

Competence Confidence Conundrum is a mouthful to say (trying repeating that five times really fast). But more importantly, it stops us from taking leaps of faith in life that make the difference in starting a business, being a more effective leader, talking to strangers, and many more things.

We all want to be more confident in any/every area of our lives because that makes us feel more successful, happier, certain, and in control. The key to gain more confidence is to feel and be more competent. But in many cases, we aren’t sure how to gain more competence or we don’t think we can do something, so we become paralyzed and don’t do anything at all.

Today, I want to discuss the Competence Confidence Conundrum and what to do about it.

Here is the definition of the Competence Confidence Conundrum: As we become more skilled at a task, our fear shrinks and our confidence grows.

Psychologists often call it the confidence-competence loop. As you become more competent in something you learn how to do it, you’re more confident in doing it. When you learned how to ride a bike and then you’ve rode the bike more, you became more skilled at it. You developed more confidence in your ability to ride the bike.

And what fuels you to the next level in anything you do? The feeling of confidence!

Do you want to be more confident in an area in your life? If yes…The big questions are…What do you do? What assumptions do you have to get rid of to get out of my own success and happiness?

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She interviewed over 100 people at Goldman Sachs, and this was the one trait she looked for in every job candidate

"I interviewed anywhere from 20 to 30 job candidates a year, so in total, I interviewed over 100 people at Goldman Sachs," she tells Business Insider. "And this was the one trait I looked for in every candidate: Strong communication skills."

I was reading this article in Business Insider and I wanted to share it because it’s something almost everyone overlooks. “What’s the one skill set that human resources people are looking for in job candidates at any level?”

The “soft skills” will make or break your career. Education, background, wealth, physical traits, none of those ensure your success. But mastering this skill set does! And the great thing is every person can do it…because it is a learned behavior (i.e. you aren’t born with it)!!!

Mastering social, communication and emotional skill sets are the keys to creating an extraordinary business and career. It’s extremely difficult to it any other way. Possible, but it’s highly unlikely, unless you believe you can go it alone and you don’t need help from anyone along the way.

So it’s time to invest in yourself and learn how to master these skills through book, courses, coaching, etc. You don’t learn them from experience. In fact, your skills are actually eroding away every single day and your blindspots in these areas are most likely causing your biggest pain, disappointment and problems in both your personal and professional life.

PS: Becca Brown also said there was one question a few candidates asked her over the years that she was particularly impressed by: “What’s one of the most interesting projects or opportunities that you’ve worked on?” Use it!

Read this excerpt below:

“I interviewed anywhere from 20 to 30 job candidates a year, so in total, I interviewed over 100 people at Goldman Sachs,” Becca Brown tells Business Insider. “And this was the one trait I looked for in every candidate: strong communication skills.”

She says the ability to communicate clearly is critical for any job, and is particularly important at Goldman Sachs.

“One of the tenets of the culture at Goldman is resourcefulness, and communicating that resourcefulness to others,” she says. “Pretty much everyone I worked with or dealt with while I worked there carried the same level of professionalism and resourcefulness.”

Even when someone did not know the answer to a question, Brown says the consistent response was, “I will find out” — and that person always did.

“That theme of resourcefulness is so important to any organization and fosters a team atmosphere in which everyone is working hard for the benefit of the organization. Good communication is critical to the success of the individual and to the organization,” she concludes.

Are You The Hero or Villain Of Your Own Story?

the power of story jason treu

Are You The Hero or Villain Of Your Own Story? The stories you make up about the world around you, will make you or break you. They are EXTREMELY powerful.

The most dangerous stories we make up in our lives are the narratives that diminish our inherent worthiness around the areas of lovability, creativity, success and happiness.

If we own our history, we change the stories in our lives that no longer serve us and are holding us back from leading extraordinary business and personal lives.

We have an opportunity at any given time to write a new story and reclaim our power in the present and future moments. That’s very powerful and so are you!

Here is what we do as human beings:

  • When something upsets or distresses us, we face conflict or feel a strong emotion, our brains will scramble to turn it into a story — whether it’s accurate or not.
  • Our brain are neurologically hard-wired for story creation and we get chemically rewarded for quickly creating one (i.e. dopamine release)
  • We give that experience/incident a beginning, middle and end.
  • The stories we make up have “good guys” and “bad guys.”
  • We then project into the world our stories and they create the blueprint of how we think, feel and operate in the world around us.
  • The challenge we all face is we create stories that don’t serve us, and they turn into our biggest blind spots. Eventually those stories bring us heartbreak and create a “divine storm” that causes our biggest breakdown in our lives.
  • Unless we get curious, challenge those stories, and then re-write them, we will be living “groundhog day” over and over again.

Here are three things to keep in mind around the power of story:

  1. We can’t block out our emotions or try to just smooth over hurt feelings in our relationships at home or work. When we do, we stockpile hurt, disappointment and shame, and turn it into rage, resentment, and isolation. We must talk about our stories both with the people we are having conflicts with and with trusted people who have earned the right to hear out story. We must do this even when we don’t want to, we don’t feel like, or even when we’re tired.
  2. We can’t deny our histories of violence, eating disorders, addictions and mental health issues if we want to create a new story to build real emotional honesty and healthy future with our children, relatives and loved ones.
  3. We need be accountable and take responsibility for our failures and mistakes so that we can learn and grow. As a leader, it’s very hard to create an environment that takes this into account. But it’s a requirement if you want to create an extraordinary culture that unleashes innovation, creativity and flourishes. It won’t “feel” comfortable, but living outside our comfort zone almost never does.

Here are a couple more things to help challenge your current stories:

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Jason Treu shares how he turned great Social Skills into a business and book

Live The Goals Podcast

Live The Goals Podcast with Jason Treu

In this episode, we talk to Jason Treu about how he built a coaching business and authored a best-selling book by leveraging his skills and talents.  He also shares his thoughts on setting big audacious goals.

What you can do TODAY to accomplish your goals:

  • Set big audacious goals.
  • Set goals in all the areas of your life.
  • Focus on Abundance and serving others.

Hot Seat Scenario:

Jason chose Person B who has plenty of money but no time outside of work. He wants Person B to start by doing the sunflower exercise listing the things Person B likes and the things that Person B is good at doing.

Quote/Mantra He Uses:

  • “Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness.” – Brene Brown

Jason’s Book:

Social Wealth

How to Contact:


How to Avoid Drama in the Workplace

My video podcast discusses how to avoid drama in the workplace and resolve conflicts with other people.

I share with you:
1) How to deal with drama in the workplace
2) How to manage conflict
3) Why Millennials are different and how that’s an advantage
4) What mindsets will help you or hurt you
5) Ways to manage your company culture

Is Fear Really A Compass Guiding You Forward?

Is Fear Really A Compass Guiding You Forward? You know the topic I love to talk on is moving past your fears.

Fears hold us back from doing everything in our life. Whether it’s in business, whether it’s in our personal life. It could be starting a business, it could be taking a new position, it could actually be leaving an industry and doing something completely different. What I love about fear is that it’s actually a compass leading you forward. It’s actually guiding you your direction that you need to head in but most of us recoil from that because it’s much easier to sit on our couch. It’s much easier to sit in that comfy little couch and sit there and not move outside of our comfort zone.

That’s the key.

The people in life that are the most successful get out of their comfort zone more than other people. They can do it in a healthy fashion that doesn’t cause them stress or challenges or other things that other people have and internalizing in it. The key thing beyond that is what the most successful people do is they’re able to take leaps of faith not for the landing or the outcome. They’re able to take that leap of faith for the experience.

That experience guides them farther because they know most of the time when they actually leap they’re going to fail. I’ve talked to hundreds of entrepreneurs and out of every 10 things I’ve asked them they’ve said they’ve failed at least 5 to 7 times which tells you that very successful people fail at a high rate. What they do differently is they fail and they take those lessons and move forward so eventually they find success.

All of us can do this, this is all a learned behavior and I can help you move to that next level.

How to Get Comfortable With Discomfort

how to get comfortable with discomfort

Are you willing to sacrifice your comfort zone?

Or are you happy being great at everything you do without expanding your horizons?

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO MY PODCAST: and learn “How to Get Comfortable With Discomfort!”

Everybody knows that one guy who sacrificed everything for his business.

Luckily, not everybody will have to eat Taco Bell and sleep in roach-infested apartments in drug-laden neighborhoods to find success. Jason Treu (pronounced “true”) has spent much of his career making himself uncomfortable – on purpose. Getting out of his comfort zone has led to his biggest successes.

The best thing to give up to make your business succeed is your comfort zone.

In recent years, Jason has emerged as a top business and executive coach and sales trainer. His extroverted nature has helped him burst through many of his personal comfort zones.

Getting out of his comfort zone has opened new horizons.

He has founded and encourages people to build relationships that matter to find success. His clients often feel stuck and passionless. Treu motivates them out of that hole through his coaching. That usually includes advice to step out of your comfort zone.

Treu has worked alongside visionaries like Steve Jobs and Mark Cuban.

Despite his high-power counterparts, Treu at some point decided to be Batman instead of Robin, a large leap of faith outside his comfort zone. He nearly became a lawyer before he realized that most lawyers aren’t happy. That pushed him different directions before he found his calling.

Get comfortable with a little discomfort, and listen to the great things Jason has to tell you!

Click play on the podcast player above to listen to our conversation.

Jason Treu’s Roars and Takeaways

“Success is really just living a life where I’m not in my comfort zone.” Jason Treu (@jasontreu) via @Rustylionacademy (Tweet it out!)

“You can’t outsource your power. You have to claim it!” Jason Treu (@jasontreu) via @Rustylionacademy (Tweet it out!)

“When you can start doing it really small, the bigger things are easier to do.” Jason Treu (@jasontreu) via @Rustylionacademy (Tweet it out!)

“Take the leap of faith not for the landing, but for the experience.” Jason Treu (@jasontreu) via @Rustylionacademy (Tweet it out!)

Tune into this episode to hear Jason Treu talk with me (Robert) about:

  • Coaches’ role as chief of staff [3:56]
  • The wrong question Jason asked that kept him from becoming a lawyer [4:56]
  • The wild ride of working with Steve Jobs [6:30]
  • Jason’s competing job offers from a single source [8:40]
  • The thing he did for moving executives that changed his career [9:30]
  • How writing his first book launched him into coaching [10:38]
  • The easiest places to meet influencers [11:10]
  • How volunteering can change your networking life [12:00]
  • Why flirting with uncertainty is Jason’s superpower [14:10]
  • How to form deep connections with people [16:02]
  • Infectious enthusiasm and vulnerability [16:42]
  • How to be Batman instead of Robin [19:02]
  • How Jason saved a life through courageous action (and how you may save your own life too) [21:30]
  • Accepting the bad and moving on by taking action [23:20]
  • Why life outside of a comfort zone is success [24:40]
  • The one ingredient everybody needs for success (Hint: It’s not a thing) [25:17]
  • How to mine personal and business opportunities from the same situations [26:05]
  • Why Jason wants to live even further outside of his comfort zone [28:21]
  • Living gratefully and healthily every day [29:26]
  • The value of going to conferences [32:25]
  • The good advice behind getting scared [33:50]
  • Why the most successful people take leaps of faith [34:45]
  • Mark Cuban’s risk tolerance in his early entrepreneurial history [35:36]
  • The sacrifices of starting a business for big names [36:09]

Books and Resources mentioned that will enhance your life:

  • Click here to get the biography of Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson
  • Click here to get Jason Treu’s book Social Wealth
  • Click here to get Brene Brown’s book Rising Strong

How to contact Jason Treu:

You can visit his website or follow him on Twitter.

Get ready to ROAR!

Learn How to Manage Your Business, Culture and Social Wealth

Startup School Radio Broadcast (live broadcast across 8 radio stations)

Jason Treu – Business Coach at BeExtraordinary, Networking & Persuasion Expert and Author of Social Wealth: How to Build Extraordinary Relationships By Transforming the Way We Live, Love, Lead and Network

Jason Treu

Jason Treu

Jason Treu is a business coach that specializes in social engineering (human behavior), networking, influence with vulnerability and persuasion through authenticity and truth. He works with executives, entrepreneurs and experts helping them get known, stand out, and build the key relationships to create the life they are passionate about. Jason also helps them understand their purpose and vision so they can take the next step in their business with certainty to create more success then they ever have before. He also is a speaker, frequent contributor in the media, and an author of two best selling books. He has a law degree, along with a master’s degree in communications and has been blessed to have thousands of extraordinary people in his life. While at HP, Jason won the Award for “Outstanding Employee.”

Choose to Be Grateful. It Will Make You Happier.

Choose to Be Grateful. It Will Make You Happier

Choose to be grateful. It will make you happier. I’m going to show you quickly how today.

I have a daily gratitude practice, and I’ve done it for many, many years.

Many of the most successful people I associate with in my business and work all have gratitude practices. You should too!

Quick Tip: One practice you can use is in your weekly team meeting is to have a round robin where everyone says what they are most grateful for in the last week.

Gratitude is a critical practice to start doing in your life daily.

Take Action: I want you to start building your own gratitude practice.

Every morning for the next seven days, write down five things that you are grateful for.

And I know it can be easy to just write down five random things and move on, but I want you to focus on each item on your list for ten seconds in gratitude.

Start paying serious attention to your mood.

Does starting your morning and evening with gratitude change the way you move through your entire day?

If you are an “old pro” at the gratitude practice, it’s more proof that you’re exactly where you should be. Try expressing gratitude directly to people on your list or to make a note to acknowledge something on your list in real time the next day.

Bonus Exercises That I Encourage You To Do

1) Every day this week I want you to do a random act of kindness. This could literally be anything. Buying someone’s coffee at the coffee shop, holding open a door for someone whose hands are full, complimenting a stranger on their hair/shoes/bag, picking up flowers for someone you love- doesn’t matter. I want you to experience the joy that comes with giving back every day. It’s addictive.

2) Spend 10 minutes brainstorming on how you can give your time, money, or expertise in a bigger way (even if you are doing things right now or have an organization set up). Then, set a date over the next 10 ten weeks to volunteer your time/money to something that means something to you. It’s not about how big or small, it’s about taking action.

3) Send two emails to people that mean a lot to you. These can be people you have lost touch with. In no more than 4-6 sentences, say how they impacted your life and what it meant to you. That should take you. That should take you under 15 minutes. Don’t overthink it. Send it to the first two people that pop in your mind. Watch what happens.

Remember: Choose to Be Grateful. It Will Make You Happier.

Jason Treu – Executive & Business Coach on Getting Unstuck, Being More Creative, and Finding Your Passion

Work at Home Rockstar Podcast

Work at Home Rockstar Podcast with Jason treu

Jason is a top business and executive coach and sales leadership trainer. He’s a leading expert on leadership, culture, influence, and relationship building.

He helps his clients get unstuck and find their purpose, put the passion back in their lives, create additional wealth, and build social, communication, emotional and leadership skill sets to take their business/career to the highest levels.

He’s worked with well-known CEOs such as Steve Jobs, Mark Hurd at HP, and many others. He’s helped his clients meet influencers such as Tim Cook, Bill Gates, Richard Branson and many others.

At the heart of his strategy is the understanding that people and your relationships are your true “wealth.” Everything we accomplish in life is with or through other people.

Jason’s bestselling book, Social Wealth, the how-to-guide on building personal and professional relationships, has sold more than 36,000 copies and has been #1 in four business and self-help categories.

Jason has his law degree and masters in communications from Syracuse University. He lives in Dallas, Texas.

Click here to listen

FAVORITE HOOK (Quotes from the Interview)

You wouldn’t get financial advice from a plumber


  1. If you are an introvert, you need to approach networking more strategically
  2. If you set up a partnership, be sure to have a clear picture and exit plan upfront
  3. Find other entrepreneurs that can relate to you.