John Mulaney quotes are extremely funny and are a compilation of many of his jokes that have made him popular. Mulaney has made a name for himself doing what he loves just like Kevin Hart and Eddie Murphy who were all stand-up comedians.
John Mulaney Wiki
John Mulaney is an American actor, producer, writer, and stand-up comedian. His best work can be sourced to the popular “Saturday Night Live Show” where he contributes as a writer. He is known for starring in many comedy shows. Like Richard Pryor and others, he had a show named after him a few years ago, but it was cancelled. Below are a number of quotes from him.
Best John Mulaney Quotes
“The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.”
“It is 100% easier not to do things than to do them, and so much fun not to do them - especially when you were supposed to do them. In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.”
“Why do people shush animals? They’ve never spoken.”
“I was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table.”
“I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.”
“I'm a very lucky person. I'm an idiot, and I've shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don't feel like I deserve good treatment.”
“I never knew you were supposed to push off of your feet when you walked. And I tried it, and I walked much faster.”
“I’ll keep all my emotions right here. And then one day I’ll die.”
“I’ll book a ticket on some garbage airline. I don't wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it like Delta Airlines.”
“You can do good work simply staying up all night and eating nothing but junk food, but probably not in the long term.”
“I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of exhaustion.”
“It's nice when you're nervous and everybody's like, "Yeah, you should be nervous." Because a lot of times you're anxious and people say, "Relax. Shut up." And that just feels like, Well, I guess I'm also crazy.”
“I just watched a ton of comedy and saw a ton of different styles, and eventually you think, 'Oh, yeah, I could be like that.”
“If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them [the n-word], that’s the worse word.”
“I think for many of us - speaking for just a pocket of the country - we trusted Obama. So when you leave your baby with your mom to watch, you don't run home and check the nanny cam. But now we've left the baby with Gary Busey, so we're going to be a lot more on it.."
“My childhood was completely dominated by Bill Clinton and the OJ trial. I don't think we had a family dinner where one didn't come up.”
“Things don't exist until they exist.”
“Comfort is everything. You start doing something and you want it to be perfect right away, but most babies are born ugly and then they shake it out and you get beautiful toddlers.”
“All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.”
“I like making fun of myself a lot. I like being made fun of, too. I've always enjoyed it. There's just something really, really funny about someone tearing into me."
“I like to turn on the TV and watch whatever's on. Nick Kroll does that a lot. He doesn't watch important shows. He'll just turn on a documentary on Mia Hamm and watch it for an hour. Whatever's on, we watch.”
“I plan to join the 'SNL' band as a maraca player and stand behind saxophonist Lenny Pickett. That way they will at least cut to me before commercial breaks. I'll be sure to look right into camera.”
“Things have to be funny first, and if they want to have a point, that's awesome.”
“I stopped drinking when I was 23. I kind of started when I was 13, so it was a 10-year run. But I just became a bad, annoying drunk child, so when I stopped, I'd done a lot of things I wasn't proud of.”
“I kind of thought, wouldn't it be funny to take a swing at being on the weird side of mainstream?.”