Best Funny Baby Quotes

Best Funny Baby Quotes

Funny Baby quotes are about parent’s hilarious remarks about caring for babies and toddlers. Raising babies isn’t any joke as many of those who quoted shared. It takes a lot to deal with babies and they share some very funny comments. You can also check funny mom quotes and funny food quotes, some very funny remarks.

Funny Baby Quotes

“Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head."Carol Burnett

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“They vomit a lot. For a second I thought I needed to rename my first Linda Blair and hire a priest, because she was spitting up so much."
Jimmy Fallon


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“24/7. Once you sign on to be a mother, that’s the only shift they offer!”
Jodi Picoult


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“Having a new baby is like suddenly getting the world’s worst roommate.”
Anne Lamott


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“I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like my husband.”
Unknown


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“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.”
Phyllis Diller


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“Sleep when your baby sleeps. Everyone knows this classic tip, but I say why stop there? Scream when your baby screams. Take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl. And walk around pantsless when your baby walks around pantsless.”
Tina Fey


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“I’m a walking zombie and I think I’m going to be like that for a while.”
Tiffani Thiessen


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“I’m a walking zombie and I think I’m going to be like that for a while.”
Tiffani Thiessen


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“In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced on television.”
Erma Bombeck


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“A baby changes your dinner party conversation from politics to poops.”
Maurice Johnston


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“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” Lane Olinghouse


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“Having an infant son alerts me to the fact that every man, at one point, has peed on his own face.”
Olivia Wilde


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“You never know when you’re gonna get crapped on or when you’re gonna get a big smile or when that smile immediately turns into hysterics. It might be like living with a drug addict.”
Blake Lively


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“None of it is real until all of a sudden they’re standing there covered in slime and crying. You’re like, wait a minute, what is that?”
George Clooney


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“When you have a baby, sleep is not an option. You can’t sleep. Even on vacation, you wake up at 6:30 a.m.”
Jimmy Fallon


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“A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”
Jerry Seinfeld


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“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.”
Erma Bombeck


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“People who say, they sleep like a baby, usually don’t have one.”
Leo Burke


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“Our baby in particular is, we think, allergic to sleep. We think that she thinks that she’s protecting us from the sleep monsters. She’s like ‘Oh, I gotta keep them up or the sleep monsters will get them.’”
Ryan Reynolds


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