Best Funny Dog Quotes

Best Funny Dog Quotes

Funny dog quotes are hilarious quotes people make about dogs and what it would be like if they actually talked. It is no secret that dogs are loved by millions if now more and they do make a great companion for a single person or even a family. Most people probably don’t know what they would do without their dog. Not to be left out is cats, they too have their own funny cat quotes which are just as hilarious.

Funny Dog Quotes

“Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'"Unknown

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“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx 


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“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear."
Dave Barry


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“How was the dog's day? Ruff."
Unknown


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“Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant."
Unknown


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“To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service."
Unknown


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“Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog."
Unknown 


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“I don't want to adult today, I just want to dog. I'll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks."
Unknown 


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“I don't want to adult today, I just want to dog. I'll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks."
Unknown 


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“I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog."
Unknown 


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“You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich."
Unknown


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“Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first.”
Unknown


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“It was me, I let the dogs out."
Unknown


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“For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog."
Unknown 


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“If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”
Will Rogers


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“Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window.”
Steve Bluestone


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“What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job!”
George Carlin


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“Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like, never washed a dog.”
Franklin P. Jones


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“In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.”
Edward Hoagland


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"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does.”
Christopher Morley


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