Best Funny Golf Quotes

Best Funny Golf Quotes

Funny golf quotes are expressive remarks by gold players, golf wannabees and those who just have something to say. It is amazing what people can conjure up about golfing that is so hilarious, trust me I am so serious. You have to see it for yourselves. You can also check out funny car quotes and funny cooking quotes as they are also full of humor.

Funny Golf Quotes

“Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.”John Updike

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“If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.”
Jack Lemmon


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“We learn so many things from golf—how to suffer, for instance.”
Bruce Lansky


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“While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.”
Henny Youngman


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“I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it."
Rogers Hornsby


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“Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.”
Chi Chi Rodriguez


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“Mistakes are part of the game. It’s how well you recover from them, that’s the mark of a great player.”
Alice Cooper


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“The most important shot in golf is the next one.”
Ben Hogan


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“The most important shot in golf is the next one.”
Ben Hogan


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“The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.”
Mickey Mantle


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“To find a man’s true character, play golf with him.”
P.G. Wodehouse


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“As you walk down the fairway of life, you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.”
Ben Hogan


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“I started watching golf for the first time yesterday. I`m really worried about myself. I was actually enjoying it.”
Ewan McGregor


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“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.”
Dean Martin


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“Work is for people who don’t know how to play golf.”
Unknown


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“Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.”
Jim Murray


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“I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s game: It’s called an eraser.”
Arnold Palmer


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“The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law."
H. G. Wells


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“I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this drive.”
George W. Bush


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“Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.”
Dave Barry


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