Best Funny Health Quotes

Best Funny Health Quotes

Funny health quotes look at the well being of individuals who find health matters some what funny. It is no secret that anyone who doesn’t have good health won’t live a very happy and comfortable life. On the topic of life check funny life quotes, they are funny. Yet laughter is still one of the best medicines for most ailments as it releases neurochemicals called endorphins in your body that make you feel good and help to heal the body.

Funny Health Quotes

“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."Mark Twain

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“You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She is 97 now and we don't know where the hell she is.”
Ellen DeGeneres


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“It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.”
Jackie Mason?


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“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.”
Woody Allen


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“Avoid any diey that discourages the use of hot fudge.”
Tom Waits


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“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong


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“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”
Erik Satie


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“I like long walks especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Fred Allen


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“I like long walks especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Fred Allen


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“Never eat more thn you can lift.”
Miss Piggy


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“If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.”
Mickey Mantle


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“I tried evey diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton


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“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright


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“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney


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“Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.”
Unknown


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“Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.”
Unknown


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“I am dying with the help of too many physicians.”
Unknown


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“It's a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown


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“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown


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“It's bizzare that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children's health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown


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