Best Funny Husband Quotes

Best Funny Husband Quotes

Funny husband quotes are a collection of sayings by various individuals that have been compiled for your pleasure and enjoyment. There has long been this discussion about who gets more out of the marriage and most would say the wife, the husband just obeys. Regardless of who is right or wrong in this equation who gets what and does what no marriage is complete without a husband. You can also read funny marriage quotes, see some similarities. Below are a number of funny husband quotes to read.

Funny Husband Quotes

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.... She hugged me.”Unknown

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“Marriage is a relationship when one person is always right and the other is the husband.”
Unknown


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“Husbands are the best persons to share your secrets with... They won't tell anyone because they aren't even listening”
Unknown


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“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life”
Rita Runder


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“My husband thinks I am crazy but I am not the one who married me.”
Unknown


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“Marriage is a workshop where husband works and wife shops.”
Unknown


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“Note to husband- Your dinner is in the recipe book page 32 and your ingredients ae at the store.”
Unknown


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“Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me then I remember I remember that I put up with you.”
Unknown


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“Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me then I remember I remember that I put up with you.”
Unknown


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“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.”
Ann Bancroft


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Funny Husband Jokes

Funny husband jokes are really no different from funny husband quotes, its just a matter of playing with words. I am sure if you read the quotes above you would agree that they can also be taken for jokes. Boy, are they some hilarious jokes though, it’s truly amazing what the human mind can conceive and then put pen to paper. I hope you truly found them entertaining. Another entertaining page is funny rain quotes, all of these funny quotes are just amazing.

“My darling, this scenery makes me speechless. Husband: perfect, we are setting up tenet here.”
Unknown


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“I vow to love all of you, snoring included.”
Unknown


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“A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.”
Unknown


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“I don't need Google, my husband knows everything.”
Unknown


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“A husband's last words should always be 'ok buy it'.”
Unknown


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“Tell her she is beatiful instead of hot... She is your wife not temperature.”
Unknown


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“A good wife always forgives her husband when she is wrong.”
Unknown


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“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
Prince Phillip


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“We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops”
Henty Youngman


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“Some mornings I wake up grouchy. And some mornings I just let him sleep.”
Unknown


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Sarcastic Husband Quotes

Sarcastic husband quotes can e found in the funny husband quotes that are on this page. If you carefully read through some of them you would notice a hint of sarcasm in many of them. However, that sarcasm has played a vital part in the quote having a funny twist and helping the reader see the joke in the quote. If you found the sarcasm entertaining be sure to read funny senior quotes as well.

“A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.”
Michael De Montaigne


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“An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.”
Booth Tarkington


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“The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.”
Rick Reilly


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“Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets.”
Joginder Singh


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“Husbands and wives are so irritating. But without them, who would we blame for misplacing our socks?”
Janet Periat


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“We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.”
Henny Youngman


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