Funny Marriage quotes reflect on the ups and downs of marriage life and how funny such a subject could be. Many times women blame the and the men the women, but marriage is hard work. This post looks at the funny ways people view marriage and these quotes will surely make you laugh. Funny senior quotes has that affect on people as well so be sure to check that out.
Funny Marriage Quotes
"Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.”Emma Bombeck
“Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.”
Unknown
“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
Rita Runder
“My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.”
Jack Benny
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
Prince Phillip
“If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; If you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.”
Mile Davis
“A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.”
Unknown
“My wife dresses to kill, she cooks the same way.”
Henry Youngman
“My wife dresses to kill, she cooks the same way.”
Henry Youngman
“Love is a lot like a backache; It doesn’t show up on X-Rays, But you know it’s there.”
Henry Youngman
“A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.”
Tim Allen
“Some mornings I wake up grouchy. And some mornings I just let him sleep.”
Unknown
“A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.”
Michael De Montaigne
“I love you like a fat kid loves cake.”
Scott Adams
“I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.”
Wendy Liebman
“What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.”
Cindy Garner
“An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.”
Booth Tarkington
"Marry a man your own age; As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.”
Phyllis Diller
“The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.”
Rick Reilly
“Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbours ain’t.”
Unknown