Best Funny Work Quotes

Best Funny Work Quotes

Funny work quotes are funny remarks about how some people see work and what they would rather do. We live in a world where everyone needs to work unless you may be born with a “gold spoon in your mouth” and received a huge inheritance. The quotes are very funny and though we would all rather be somewhere else the reality is we have to work. Funny money quotes also shows the funnier side of the need for money which comes from working in most cases.

Funny Work Quotes

“Due to the confidentiality of my job, I don't know what I am doing"Unknown

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“My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck."
Unknown


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“Just once I'd like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear "Monday has been cancelled," and then go back to sleep."
Unknown


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“I'm always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing."
Unknown


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“Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday?"
Unknown


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“If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook."
Unknown


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“On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth."
Unknown 


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"Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems. IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary."
Unknown 


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"Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems. IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary."
Unknown 


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“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter."
John Gotti 


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“When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31."
Unknown


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“If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut."
Albert Einstein 


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“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"
Edgar Bergen 


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“A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours."
Unknown 


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“Work again? Really? Didn't I just do that yesterday?"
Unknown


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“I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.”
Unknown


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“When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep."
Unknown


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“He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor."
Paddy O'Dea 


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“You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither!"
Unknown


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"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."
Fred Allen 


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